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About enisoc.com

Founded in 1803, enisoc.com started as a simple kiosk on the southeast corner of 5th and Main in downtown Chicago. It has since grown into a multinational phenomenon, crossing all forms of language barriers, cultural barriers, and even blood-brain barriers. Today, enisoc.com works behind the scenes in nearly every world market, including reality television, watch batteries, and stamp collecting. Every year, enisoc.com and its subsidiaries take in a total of 700 billion U.S. dollars. With a hand in the governments of every major world power, as well as a hand in the pockets of every wage-earning American citizen, enisoc.com is without a doubt the best kept secret of two centuries. Until today.

Two hundred years ago, there lived a simple man with a simple dream - an American dream: to take over the world. With the help of five ancient Chinese scrolls, he worked in his study, formulating a master plan. He soon realized that his plans could not come to fruition within his lifetime, so he began to make arrangements for his plans to be carried out when the time was right. He established the enisoc.com foundation, and set up a kiosk on 5th street that sold personal hygiene products. This business, however, was only a front for the underground division of enisoc.com, which was already working frantically in preparation for the first phase of The Plan.

In the summer of 1824, The Founder contracted a rare flesh-eating bacteria. Just as he appeared to be recovering, the infection spread to his genitals, rendering him impotent. Devastated by his loss, The Founder opted for assisted suicide. His last words, as he lay dying on the floor of a dilapidated tattoo parlor, have become the maxim of our enterprise: "They work hard so you don't have to."

Now, on the bicentennial of the foundation of enisoc.com, it is finally time to begin phase two of The Plan. During this phase, enisoc.com will open up its services to the discerning elite of today's societies. We can't guarantee the safety of you or your family, but if you act now, we'll throw in a free set of collector's edition Elvis stamps. Call now! Don't delay!

Instant Win!

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If one of the above is a prime number, you are a winner!

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